Sunday, July 26, 2015

What NOT to say to someone dealing with Depression/ Anxiety

Dealing with depression and anxiety, I often feel overwhelmed and stressed. A well meaning person told me "deal with it." It got me thinking about what to do or how to respond to someone dealing with depression/ anxiety.

Things NOT to say:

  • Deal with it
  • Just get over it
  • Suck it up
  • Things could be worse
  • You are doing better than some people (a lot of people have it worse then you)
  • You should realize how blessed you are
  • Count your blessings
  • You need a hobby
  • Snap out of it
  • Pull yourself together
  • Just hang in it, it will pass
  • You're luckier than most
  • If you're not happy, then change something
  • Things aren’t that bad
  • No one ever said life is fair

Things you think you should say, but will get you nowhere: (unless you want to just be nice, but not really help in any way, then go ahead and say these things!)

  • What can I do to help?

Honestly, I don’t even know what would help, so I won’t be able to tell you how to help me

  • Can I bring you something?

Most of the time we will just say no, even if there is something.

  • Let me know if you need anything!

Things TO say or do: (you should be direct and in a nice way, force them to accept the gesture)
  • Let me watch your kids.
  • I’m bringing you dinner tonight.
  • Doorbell ditch a treat
  • Invite them to do something with you (go out to lunch, go to a movie, come to your house for dinner)
  • Give them a decorative inspirational saying they can display in their home and remind them to keep going. 
  • Give them compliments (I love that shirt on you. Your hair looks great today. You’re amazing. You are so talented)
  • Almost anything to make them feel loved, supported or cared about.
My sister's response touched me the most. I was crazy overwhelmed with a lot of orders and she told me: "Get a coke and a treat and take it one at a time! You can do it. Wish I was closer to help ya"

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