Dealing with depression and anxiety, I often feel overwhelmed and stressed. A well meaning person told me "deal with it." It got me thinking about what to do or how to respond to someone dealing with depression/ anxiety.
Things NOT to say:
- Deal with it
- Just get over it
- Suck it up
- Things could be worse
- You are doing better than some people (a lot of people have it worse then you)
- You should realize how blessed you are
- Count your blessings
- You need a hobby
- Snap out of it
- Pull yourself together
- Just hang in it, it will pass
- You're luckier than most
- If you're not happy, then change something
- Things aren’t that bad
- No one ever said life is fair
Things you think you should say, but will get you nowhere: (unless you want to just be nice, but not really help in any way, then go ahead and say these things!)
- What can I do to help?
Honestly, I don’t even know what would help, so I won’t be able to tell you how to help me
- Can I bring you something?
Most of the time we will just say no, even if there is something.
- Let me know if you need anything!
Things TO say or do: (you should be direct and in a nice way, force them to accept the gesture)
- Let me watch your kids.
- I’m bringing you dinner tonight.
- Doorbell ditch a treat
- Invite them to do something with you (go out to lunch, go to a movie, come to your house for dinner)
- Give them a decorative inspirational saying they can display in their home and remind them to keep going.
- Give them compliments (I love that shirt on you. Your hair looks great today. You’re amazing. You are so talented)
- Almost anything to make them feel loved, supported or cared about.
My sister's response touched me the most. I was crazy overwhelmed with a lot of orders and she told me: "Get a coke and a treat and take it one at a time! You can do it. Wish I was closer to help ya"