tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4023437106978750132024-03-21T20:30:50.608-06:00Healing HopeDMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.comBlogger677125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-68781043049949230222020-12-02T15:52:00.004-07:002020-12-02T15:52:34.098-07:00Why Do We Lose Control of Our Emotions?<iframe width="480" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3bKuoH8CkFc" frameborder="0"></iframe>DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-2094516700876638832020-08-26T11:34:00.000-06:002020-08-26T11:34:00.273-06:00Strength isn't about how much<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbUmS1faWAZvHhWxtCdnkv-ypcowSe-ue7uogf9YVgs-fi2Qo1PLmYlMMhGbrnznqD4jhw1ApGq776uq2VgpktINqlkNAlb3gTqEmw3lSORWDdr2NIEXzqhZCi51EjDL8ZC4UrNnCcWqBd/s1600/Strength+isn%2527t+about+how+muc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1583" data-original-width="1600" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbUmS1faWAZvHhWxtCdnkv-ypcowSe-ue7uogf9YVgs-fi2Qo1PLmYlMMhGbrnznqD4jhw1ApGq776uq2VgpktINqlkNAlb3gTqEmw3lSORWDdr2NIEXzqhZCi51EjDL8ZC4UrNnCcWqBd/s320/Strength+isn%2527t+about+how+muc.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-3878009143255631162020-08-19T11:18:00.000-06:002020-08-19T11:18:00.734-06:00Life is like a book<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEaKnv-SxVud6M33_rawXLtRR_PH_DrqAyzSI36NO-ceOQJcvTa3zIu87lXf1SKJKX8VR9d9l059WcE3-LUo7CCZYbxQGwqj2HPkFPmnE6hrWDINr9mJnR5DNxssTsKORvWF5Us57_XEQA/s1600/Bloom+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1374" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEaKnv-SxVud6M33_rawXLtRR_PH_DrqAyzSI36NO-ceOQJcvTa3zIu87lXf1SKJKX8VR9d9l059WcE3-LUo7CCZYbxQGwqj2HPkFPmnE6hrWDINr9mJnR5DNxssTsKORvWF5Us57_XEQA/s320/Bloom+%25281%2529.jpg" width="274" /></a></div>
<br />DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-63085913715979380682020-08-12T11:17:00.000-06:002020-08-12T11:17:00.298-06:00Crying is how your body speaks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9U4L5bU5YQhIXUhmTi1_0_oy1hIZtynHECuHjESYR3bzM9UaZnaIUflsHgrSIm0KNEvF6B6K99CC11aam2Xymd4O7khTybVD5xLvAYXrs4hnwkWQL-Pkaf6RsSIuHCdI7YrwKw-6txhJa/s1600/all+is+calm+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1054" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9U4L5bU5YQhIXUhmTi1_0_oy1hIZtynHECuHjESYR3bzM9UaZnaIUflsHgrSIm0KNEvF6B6K99CC11aam2Xymd4O7khTybVD5xLvAYXrs4hnwkWQL-Pkaf6RsSIuHCdI7YrwKw-6txhJa/s320/all+is+calm+%25281%2529.jpg" width="210" /></a></div>
<br />DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-91559806471956548882020-08-05T12:51:00.000-06:002020-08-05T12:51:00.185-06:00I sat with my anger long enough<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnVaw20DQARADvnlu9N-UkFp0eZK8VoQylczTnuTaxV86KP31Ex39BnEHifSOpx8I0oa7UTOYpcwk4E3anuvIC199PHLYpKn3kuqO0NVqkzDa2qlmJwcmZ8Z7CohY4hbSbFSJf4NNz-qc3/s1600/abby+%25284%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1325" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnVaw20DQARADvnlu9N-UkFp0eZK8VoQylczTnuTaxV86KP31Ex39BnEHifSOpx8I0oa7UTOYpcwk4E3anuvIC199PHLYpKn3kuqO0NVqkzDa2qlmJwcmZ8Z7CohY4hbSbFSJf4NNz-qc3/s320/abby+%25284%2529.jpg" width="265" /></a></div>
<br />DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-79615475177469557402020-07-29T12:44:00.000-06:002020-07-29T12:44:00.184-06:00It's hard to wait<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVtZBRYOGcczK1c1EXk9qnpia6TkCCuWBjgL9PDaj9ThkFV2T4bpXiFvQKn_r1oTLdEkoPb8bF4oI7Vo4dzRfjcaa5fK_gJ0Dv2a10VrJlnjIuU2fgK_iVqmaWsDW3av-jYDxK54H8OUTw/s1600/beautiful-beautiful-flowers-bloom-913416.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1189" data-original-width="1600" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVtZBRYOGcczK1c1EXk9qnpia6TkCCuWBjgL9PDaj9ThkFV2T4bpXiFvQKn_r1oTLdEkoPb8bF4oI7Vo4dzRfjcaa5fK_gJ0Dv2a10VrJlnjIuU2fgK_iVqmaWsDW3av-jYDxK54H8OUTw/s320/beautiful-beautiful-flowers-bloom-913416.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-79817970129954472042020-07-09T01:52:00.000-06:002020-07-20T23:28:38.156-06:00Out of It MixI can't find the cd or my list, but I think they are-<br />
<br />
Calling you- Dave Kimball- Stand in the Light<br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/M3JbhmoShoI">He Is-</a> Kory Kunz<br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/xOjT-Y0F40U">He Will-</a> Hilary Weeks<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rVRna4mvhg">His Love</a>- John Canaan- Best of EFY<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fF1qO3xdt0&list=PLFqBxHxIYwQRxCDLdWp_kYXy8mSRL9_cH&index=13">I Do</a>- kory kunz<br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/-zNUCRRBAHs">If Nobody believed in you</a>- Joe Nichols<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtkszfld7q8">In his embrace</a>- Katherine Nelson- EFY 2002<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2Ll28f60f4">Let Him Heal your Heart</a>- John Canann Best of EFY<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrjYBkhDXwA">Love will find you there</a>- John McVey EFY 1998<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NaPkhxyuII">Love will find you there</a>- Jerico Road- best of efy<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCFfrPiFO_k">Masterpiece</a> - Julie de Azevedo- EFY 1997<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mlsOIMUoL8">Perfect Love</a>- Felicia Sorensen- EFY 1999<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKL0ws-oaic">Stones in the River</a>- Doug Walker- EFY 1999<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hT7GE90o90">We all fall down</a>- Diamond Rio<br />
<br />
<br />
Lately I've been thinking, If I were to make Hayley an "Out of it Mix" today, what songs would I put on it?<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIRrkFI4dho&list=PLykxXsOiDuEct5L0cd6kQl_Ao0-uZQ-GR&index=2">Even When You're Broken</a>- Julie Yardley<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt0BKDOe3x0">Just Let Me Cry</a>- Hilary Weeks- (maybe not, Hayley is not a crier, she leaves that to me!)<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyX-I-um5Kk">Beautiful Heartbreak</a>- Hilary Weeks<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlNnzOUFF4k">Sometimes He Lets it Rain</a>- Katherine Nelson<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6_-JoC8jpw">No Matter Where You Are</a>- Us the Duo<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fqPcnuVPR8&list=PLykxXsOiDuEct5L0cd6kQl_Ao0-uZQ-GR&index=41">I Won't Let Go</a>- Rascal Flatts<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIslcAtrWvs">Let it Hurt</a>- Rascal Flatts<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-urmcz2RSwI">Stand By You</a>- Rachel Platten<br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/yTCDVfMz15M?list=PLykxXsOiDuEdYB1kydbKZ6lwADpk0BGM5">Try</a>- PinkDMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-69775055374766861352019-12-16T01:54:00.001-07:002019-12-16T01:54:21.239-07:00LDS apostle: 'Totally false' that suicide leads to permanent hellGreat article! (<a href="https://www.deseret.com/2018/7/2/20648210/lds-apostle-totally-false-that-suicide-leads-to-permanent-hell?fbclid=IwAR3deufMgvKxpqoStdE6i2u2bGFbniRQGCU4WZMPu7wjcVwRpCgSULqSvaY">here</a>)<br />
<br />
Video series (<a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/get-help/suicide/videos?lang=eng">here</a>)DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-5575044405215054242019-06-26T02:26:00.000-06:002019-06-26T02:26:01.029-06:00Peace<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1oDNpkExqvOh2t82nPaPqQ-OhQiglRh5yKkm7_JzEuU28Ada-RWpIYJhe8a6RP4qia8Wfkk145fGcGZv1GABpbux8Hap296ZWNxoJBfqUe9GW3w_IeLM5b2nl-n-8jbXmHmw4qT1wVzwD/s1600/Peace+a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1oDNpkExqvOh2t82nPaPqQ-OhQiglRh5yKkm7_JzEuU28Ada-RWpIYJhe8a6RP4qia8Wfkk145fGcGZv1GABpbux8Hap296ZWNxoJBfqUe9GW3w_IeLM5b2nl-n-8jbXmHmw4qT1wVzwD/s400/Peace+a.jpg" /></a></div>
DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-14237569749434766692019-04-22T11:30:00.000-06:002019-04-22T11:30:07.841-06:00Music Monday: You're Gonna Be Ok<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/LjF9IqvXDjY" width="480"></iframe>DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-70241428682840528022019-04-15T12:00:00.000-06:002019-04-15T12:00:03.984-06:00Music Monday: "Beautiful Things"<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/oyPBtExE4W0" width="480"></iframe>DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-77922137542415162462019-04-08T10:30:00.000-06:002019-04-08T10:30:09.361-06:00Music Monday: Beautifully Broken<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ce6PT-3sQGg" width="480"></iframe>DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-58279739325887611192019-04-05T09:46:00.003-06:002020-07-30T00:42:55.279-06:00Serotonin<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimajNpIt_XiB9D6ScipUdPEVGx90TSiwHFd9hDsPcAxcNa2o0NNGSNk0Y3uAuPEAv04UAbEfHgoOnR_ntSblrK6tKSg6s5_qYeaxwI44qsjMois1udHKE0EnrGZrgNGAeCmGaJolSNv2ot/s1600/seratonin+Color+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1237" data-original-width="1600" height="492" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimajNpIt_XiB9D6ScipUdPEVGx90TSiwHFd9hDsPcAxcNa2o0NNGSNk0Y3uAuPEAv04UAbEfHgoOnR_ntSblrK6tKSg6s5_qYeaxwI44qsjMois1udHKE0EnrGZrgNGAeCmGaJolSNv2ot/s640/seratonin+Color+-+Copy.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Buy it <b><a href="https://teespring.com/serotonin-floral?pid=370&cid=6530">here</a>:</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbWdpycYQ-i7AYcaf-o-mzKybpN2ZUBhWpfSi9Rm0mRVDRp73BR6HtJmyD4uPZrnY4C0K6djQdH6At6PgCYcwn6xfCopLbAT-0XRsfmI5VHkamWEhhvDeUyKsZF3l-FHARyWFWZYzDbjik/s1600/560.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbWdpycYQ-i7AYcaf-o-mzKybpN2ZUBhWpfSi9Rm0mRVDRp73BR6HtJmyD4uPZrnY4C0K6djQdH6At6PgCYcwn6xfCopLbAT-0XRsfmI5VHkamWEhhvDeUyKsZF3l-FHARyWFWZYzDbjik/s320/560.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Available on: short sleeved shirt, long sleeved shirt, tank top, hoodie, tote bag, cell phone case and sticker.DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-37402991789911706222018-12-26T02:20:00.000-07:002018-12-26T02:20:10.141-07:00Trust in God<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQe7VcKOBshJFjI_3fnRI8koqH0POGJg9UhCMHpzhO5lV6pMv9hTYP2hSCWfsr6m7TEIxUOgHbrq4SSGTMgQ3ad0ZtRHOKcw-RSplszbBpi7k83kGlxzuVg4_fTs9jZyt5qZP6hXBluZE_/s1600/trust+in+God+a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQe7VcKOBshJFjI_3fnRI8koqH0POGJg9UhCMHpzhO5lV6pMv9hTYP2hSCWfsr6m7TEIxUOgHbrq4SSGTMgQ3ad0ZtRHOKcw-RSplszbBpi7k83kGlxzuVg4_fTs9jZyt5qZP6hXBluZE_/s400/trust+in+God+a.jpg" /></a></div>
DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-42057020120058971822018-06-06T02:16:00.000-06:002018-06-06T02:16:00.307-06:00Trial<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii0_eFGN2ez6TqCw-Ue2On7fKPDJL-dPtgcjfIXy9a9V0_TdFw8v5nP-7RcxnwiAEVoSjPETH3XzhzfBA5ZgyB7NmLE0WtHbjNv5IznlmuEO9H6McnqQcxYWEOWOTRfwNq29_xt5fppRsp/s1600/Trial+a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii0_eFGN2ez6TqCw-Ue2On7fKPDJL-dPtgcjfIXy9a9V0_TdFw8v5nP-7RcxnwiAEVoSjPETH3XzhzfBA5ZgyB7NmLE0WtHbjNv5IznlmuEO9H6McnqQcxYWEOWOTRfwNq29_xt5fppRsp/s400/Trial+a.jpg" /></a></div>
DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-13477121581118178022018-02-21T02:11:00.000-07:002018-02-21T02:11:00.415-07:00Heal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGLv3ZtW_HUGYrmEvVwZZ3sRPOI7VIZcckiwOBs0RiJFt0vuOdDsjEVhk9gbaoqSRIo_qHMpe_PPg3XYIle9Jo0usJMeqnopOiHNmoKDjRFairUbMAFCM2uROgKTglb6ZcdP9wJV9I7E8G/s1600/Heal+a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGLv3ZtW_HUGYrmEvVwZZ3sRPOI7VIZcckiwOBs0RiJFt0vuOdDsjEVhk9gbaoqSRIo_qHMpe_PPg3XYIle9Jo0usJMeqnopOiHNmoKDjRFairUbMAFCM2uROgKTglb6ZcdP9wJV9I7E8G/s400/Heal+a.jpg" /></a></div>
DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-9401828344229256022017-12-03T19:28:00.000-07:002017-12-03T19:28:10.864-07:00The Lemon Tree<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKsh9rIeWv6-SpoGx1q3oV0XePQsOqtOgU7QhJT7MJVsYg2wULrfjV0ioxELO2fP2SJgdrDLFLd29_2ZOOHwDCzY4_Qe86ydKCrfcIN6tCUAqOfr1rh6EjfoKhAL0KW3qpD-YyjoRqyUFv/s1600/20171130_103111.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKsh9rIeWv6-SpoGx1q3oV0XePQsOqtOgU7QhJT7MJVsYg2wULrfjV0ioxELO2fP2SJgdrDLFLd29_2ZOOHwDCzY4_Qe86ydKCrfcIN6tCUAqOfr1rh6EjfoKhAL0KW3qpD-YyjoRqyUFv/s320/20171130_103111.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I've been putting off this post for a while now. After doing a lot of soul searching, thought and pray I know it is time. I need to do this for me. As I was juicing lemons the other day I couldn't help but think this is most likely the last year I will be getting lemons from my dad's lemon tree. Why? Because he passed away 2 weeks ago. I haven't posted anything about it because I've had so many mixed emotions. Of course I loved him, he was my dad. At the same time I've struggled because we haven't had the best relationship over the past 20 years. It has been extremely hard because to everyone that knew him he was the most amazing person there was. To me, he was abusive. I'm sure to those who knew him it is hard to believe. I know what I lived through and experienced was real. I'm not saying these things to make him look bad, I don't want to upset anyone, I am doing this for me. Because of my experiences I am who I am today. It is a part of who I am and always will be. I have learned and grown so much because of my experiences. As hard as it was, I wouldn't trade it for the world because I love the person I've become.DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-19016825650456509422017-12-02T21:49:00.000-07:002017-12-02T21:49:06.720-07:00Recently I joined this <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/ldsmamas/">LDS Mom's Facebook group</a>. Sometimes I can't really relate the topics or questions, other times I do chime in with my 2 cents. Tonight as I was strolling along I didn't even see the post, but I saw a comment and had to share! <br />
<br />
"Forgiveness does not mean forget. Forgiveness does not mean you trust them again. Forgiveness means you forgive them for a debt they can not repay back. It also takes a long time to forgive. It's almost impossible to forgive overnight. It takes time and healing and most importantly handing it over to the Lord." -Sarah DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-36326809965818498482017-11-22T21:46:00.001-07:002020-07-09T01:52:58.024-06:00Forgiveness10-18-17<br />
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This post has been on my mind a lot lately. I'm not sure if any family members are going to wonder why I acted the way I did, or if they won't notice. Honestly, I hope they don't notice. I don't want to seem rude, but I keep my distance for a reason. A reason I have kept a secret from my family for so many years. Maybe some of you have noticed that I leave the room sometimes when Grandpa is around. Yes, I do avoid him. Why? Because he was so extremely abusive to me. At age 18 it nearly destroyed me. As some of you might recall back then (2003) Grandma wasn't functioning and wasn't there for me emotionally. I felt alone and abandoned, stuck in this abusive environment. Grandpa didn't want anyone to know, but I even lived with Gary and Jill for a while because I had to move out.<br />
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Yes, I have forgiven him. However, that doesn't mean that I have to, or want to, have him be a part of my life. I have purposely kept my distance from him because of everything that happened growing up.DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-89455225434067034652017-11-22T21:45:00.000-07:002017-11-22T21:45:13.081-07:00<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">American Foundation for Suicide</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">From the Crisis Text Hotline website:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Q: HOW DOES CRISIS TEXT LINE WORK?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">You text 741741 when in crisis. Anywhere, anytime. A live, trained crisis counselor receives the text and responds quickly. The crisis counselor helps you move from a hot moment to a cool calm to stay safe and healthy using effective active listening and suggested referrals – all through text message using CTL’s secure platform.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Q: WHO SHOULD TEXT IN? </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">A: We exist to help anyone in crisis any time.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The Crisis Text Hotline also notes in their FAQ that all text messages are anonymous and free, although charges may apply with carriers other than AT&T, T-Mobile, Sprint, or Verizon.</span>DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-8307710698194291302017-09-27T02:10:00.000-06:002017-09-27T02:10:00.157-06:00Forgive<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiAow47gdrYG3dO-G0u-tiAETaCae76TzaPKy8NpKkH0WAKlEjXxB5E0qiw_G9s_yt7FeXoL-oKXXHfVHZPYTrb3d0kMMzZYnrbPGnAW85BmjmGPxqnskKUj0SOYFRhxuHmZx5aZjhMYH0/s1600/Forgive+%25282%2529a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiAow47gdrYG3dO-G0u-tiAETaCae76TzaPKy8NpKkH0WAKlEjXxB5E0qiw_G9s_yt7FeXoL-oKXXHfVHZPYTrb3d0kMMzZYnrbPGnAW85BmjmGPxqnskKUj0SOYFRhxuHmZx5aZjhMYH0/s400/Forgive+%25282%2529a.jpg" /></a></div>
DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-16934436783276060292017-09-01T01:07:00.000-06:002017-09-01T01:16:18.957-06:00Food Pantry! Back in February or March I had this vision in my head of what it would look like running the food pantry. I kept telling myself, the beginning, trying to get donations, will be the hard part. Once they start coming in, it is just going to magically run itself... WHAT was I thinking?!?!?<br />
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Sigh. I love, I really do. But it is so much more work than I imagined 6 months ago!<br />
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For some reason I pictured this-<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqPq1IfBUhpVhZ-ByjEqm4UWJ-fYjsUIzHq7E-QNckf4-eb_AfVnATxqPJCtsBFX41OypwBt5gPXHvpDJX_uUHKllkxJ7GKScObJ16KHHG6HC0p3hNRjlmuJxWpnqFqHNgbwkzlfBpFfcg/s1600/charity-feat-edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="167" data-original-width="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqPq1IfBUhpVhZ-ByjEqm4UWJ-fYjsUIzHq7E-QNckf4-eb_AfVnATxqPJCtsBFX41OypwBt5gPXHvpDJX_uUHKllkxJ7GKScObJ16KHHG6HC0p3hNRjlmuJxWpnqFqHNgbwkzlfBpFfcg/s1600/charity-feat-edit.jpg" /></a></div>
People just bringing food. It will be so easy, I told myself. Oh, I wish.<br />
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The first few weeks it took off I had to make a schedule and check it often to make sure I didn't forget a pick up. Right now I only pick up from 3 places, yet it feels like more! 1 place I pick up from 6 days a week. The other 2 places are twice a week, but one is only seasonally twice a week and will soon switch to just once a week. Every place is a shot in the dark as to whether I will even get donations if I go to pick up. There is a chance I will drive "across town" as I call it, and there will be no items for me to pick up.<br />
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My days now go something like this:<br />
Walk up, get ready. 2 mornings a week I have a pick up before I even take the kids to school.<br />
Take kids to school, get to work!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL7FWxK9IWsIg0ZjuhgA7rnGTyVrhsMlYBPiDO5f38ncD3NPnC-YwIAoq1wloXhR2TBa0tklNR4DLw1GkepdWzYQghZ-_ZpjQPXIXNvS7Vh0a9tNK3V1nzJXaAjWj5aPDjiO0KK2aDqcix/s1600/20170810_114922.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL7FWxK9IWsIg0ZjuhgA7rnGTyVrhsMlYBPiDO5f38ncD3NPnC-YwIAoq1wloXhR2TBa0tklNR4DLw1GkepdWzYQghZ-_ZpjQPXIXNvS7Vh0a9tNK3V1nzJXaAjWj5aPDjiO0KK2aDqcix/s320/20170810_114922.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Check emails, messages, post open times for the day. </div>
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Right now I'm working on our fundraiser. I have been spending on average 3 hours a day just driving around talking to business, not including sending e-mails and messages! </div>
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Sometimes I deliver stuff when we have too much that hasn't been picked up. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFNXLJsqWoNFW3N954ir3udgDQNBlkXoAl7B2GnEkTNWnkD3tvZA3dVpn6TENIF-_841JL5V8ZufbrExYuG5N1QQDofoLAaeRbnKDhMhyLWUYpKuRdA7WQ5SVAMisy4qjLOl4iZMlHO7RH/s1600/FB_IMG_1502577948869.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFNXLJsqWoNFW3N954ir3udgDQNBlkXoAl7B2GnEkTNWnkD3tvZA3dVpn6TENIF-_841JL5V8ZufbrExYuG5N1QQDofoLAaeRbnKDhMhyLWUYpKuRdA7WQ5SVAMisy4qjLOl4iZMlHO7RH/s320/FB_IMG_1502577948869.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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By 1pm I have to make sure the bins are clean and drying. That includes throwing out any un-picked up donuts! I hate that part! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSefKIk7C7ZtnVW_xaiJHmlVRYhQ5gCVMtQ8MoSVYvwAjW99rRi-0-EDTdjnIprs9FDOLlBLj88r5kpddD2sygCd09yU5JcfcUEOlaln2BMk88o9O0NUpKNp6QXlMoqbJEgAgcDBpCRi2r/s1600/20170810_112424.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSefKIk7C7ZtnVW_xaiJHmlVRYhQ5gCVMtQ8MoSVYvwAjW99rRi-0-EDTdjnIprs9FDOLlBLj88r5kpddD2sygCd09yU5JcfcUEOlaln2BMk88o9O0NUpKNp6QXlMoqbJEgAgcDBpCRi2r/s320/20170810_112424.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I clean on average 2 bins a day, but range from 1 to 5. I'm dreading winter as I do not want to be scrubbing them outside like I currently do. </div>
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Just before the kids get out of school is donut time! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidRqPJibHVeKwosTpKW2zoHSQV6Qzq3z7T6ZFuFm8__J09DAUcnft-Vw6xCA_GMe8ep0twZYlivQcM_1Hw0MnkNhvlPUG3xNbx8Wk2c-8bVxM4pw1ODw1tu7ou24XIkjUcVhXFZJc_JqIJ/s1600/20170816_144522.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidRqPJibHVeKwosTpKW2zoHSQV6Qzq3z7T6ZFuFm8__J09DAUcnft-Vw6xCA_GMe8ep0twZYlivQcM_1Hw0MnkNhvlPUG3xNbx8Wk2c-8bVxM4pw1ODw1tu7ou24XIkjUcVhXFZJc_JqIJ/s320/20170816_144522.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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On an average day I get a LOT of donuts! I'm now known as the Donut Lady! Since the donut place is close to the kids school and close to when they get out I try to kill time between so I don't have to drive all the way home just to turn around 30 minutes later. </div>
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9 times out of 10 our after school snack is donuts! </div>
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I only have 1 evening pick up a week. I also spend some afternoons and evenings preserving what isn't picked up! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl1ZUikjqTT2VPumvYaModa-x2t-PdaBaawQDFmDdcfy1hFitsX2osIaGsJm5044g6aL_UmDGvWwa5Ks_L-Kz4k8N8AwO7uxiXTHU_iep9uS3WoeQyAcMzzKR923zLSyXLyHQnqQSEaT3x/s1600/20746329_10211766665215761_4829389841590975825_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="706" data-original-width="526" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl1ZUikjqTT2VPumvYaModa-x2t-PdaBaawQDFmDdcfy1hFitsX2osIaGsJm5044g6aL_UmDGvWwa5Ks_L-Kz4k8N8AwO7uxiXTHU_iep9uS3WoeQyAcMzzKR923zLSyXLyHQnqQSEaT3x/s320/20746329_10211766665215761_4829389841590975825_o.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIBZ7taXEK9AQitVh8W4uxKae5Kjj_7DGst4Hba_Mbp1lKAMjvHGg40J07puChuECJOzQnjcJuiAA69KP7A8dFrR4WSwJ-ct6bvZQRACB-wRY053YqhyphenhyphenADDET1pnq_VYp7hbH6U2lW-1ZV/s1600/20170815_220330.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIBZ7taXEK9AQitVh8W4uxKae5Kjj_7DGst4Hba_Mbp1lKAMjvHGg40J07puChuECJOzQnjcJuiAA69KP7A8dFrR4WSwJ-ct6bvZQRACB-wRY053YqhyphenhyphenADDET1pnq_VYp7hbH6U2lW-1ZV/s320/20170815_220330.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I am so tired to canning pickles! I have made so many jars! PS, my pickles are AMAZING!</div>
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My main project today was putting labels on ALL of the jars! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWCX2I97mus6YinQduqkRntWY3AQiN3KtRavemNd_2PNftms5BsOMwzwdR0KBm8O9zBbQupVQULFi908Q6TNxEUMACJeZ0Srx8y5dlo6-_hc1tjUhD7ZPKw5ACgLUB_98mkXGlasi7Hzjy/s1600/20170901_004807.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWCX2I97mus6YinQduqkRntWY3AQiN3KtRavemNd_2PNftms5BsOMwzwdR0KBm8O9zBbQupVQULFi908Q6TNxEUMACJeZ0Srx8y5dlo6-_hc1tjUhD7ZPKw5ACgLUB_98mkXGlasi7Hzjy/s320/20170901_004807.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Don't they look so cute?</div>
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Being organized is my best friend!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcHfNf3C5hJL1P3uMcMpOJwGQhPf3heiCTy3aqP4CL9cWNIwESfOwUn86_Hf32wg0eNpbYsn3MI7ia_ubxzm_AQOPPz0dJtXkYM49Yg0ADJe8MzAwWMB5vTaLYWd3yj1S7AN_kQ8BbbZ1U/s1600/FB_IMG_1503452227485.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcHfNf3C5hJL1P3uMcMpOJwGQhPf3heiCTy3aqP4CL9cWNIwESfOwUn86_Hf32wg0eNpbYsn3MI7ia_ubxzm_AQOPPz0dJtXkYM49Yg0ADJe8MzAwWMB5vTaLYWd3yj1S7AN_kQ8BbbZ1U/s320/FB_IMG_1503452227485.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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The "food pantry" in the basement usually looks like this- </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijqowAiEtqWvRe9yjhSje9-BpYyxGMPVGaTc7Y5vOAj0PSu2VZ1JT6J_5p2mhVcLOVd_ssa38xHFnrqXBUb3txdwfpfcQVmAQcxb_DA0r8ax2W_Mqq2oHhuXzxoET5wmuPLc0YZPD-a9N3/s1600/FB_IMG_1502491609030.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijqowAiEtqWvRe9yjhSje9-BpYyxGMPVGaTc7Y5vOAj0PSu2VZ1JT6J_5p2mhVcLOVd_ssa38xHFnrqXBUb3txdwfpfcQVmAQcxb_DA0r8ax2W_Mqq2oHhuXzxoET5wmuPLc0YZPD-a9N3/s320/FB_IMG_1502491609030.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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It's a work in progress! </div>
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I keep telling Brad, I do NOT know how I would run this thing if it wasn't for my vinyl cutter! I use it for everything! Label bins for donuts, label for donation jar, labels for donation bins, make signs, canning jar labels, bake sale tags and anything I can get away with using it for! </div>
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I might be getting 1 new restaurant soon. I have my fingers crossed I get it, but at the same time it will add a lot of work! The new restaurant will require vacuum sealing a lot of what we get from them. </div>
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I recently did a month long experiment to see how I would do off my depression medication. All in all, I did pretty good! However, by the end of the month I found that I would get angry over little things and had no patience at all, also I slept horribly. So, for now, I'm sticking to my meds! They keep me sane, sleeping regularly and functioning pretty well! </div>
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All in all, the food pantry is so much work, but I LOVE it! </div>
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<a href="https://www.gofundme.com/hope-food-pantry">Donate Here</a></div>
DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-50692596191002558002017-07-20T11:15:00.002-06:002017-07-20T11:15:51.677-06:00Hard ThingsI've been meaning to post this for a while now and kept forgetting. Almost 2 months ago a sister in my ward bore her testimony and I knew I needed to blog it. It was so insightful, enlightening and inspirational.<br />
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The youth in our ward were about to go on a pioneer trek. She shared that her teenaged son didn't want to go. She told him that he needed to and she knew he would love it in the end and have a spiritual experience. She said how Heavenly Father does the same thing to us. He puts us in situations that we don't want to do something, because He knows that in the end we will be grateful for it and will have had a spiritual experience.<br />
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I had never thought of that before. She put it so beautifully. I'm sure my post isn't doing it justice.DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-67964738291377821062017-07-10T22:36:00.000-06:002017-07-10T22:36:17.062-06:00Busy!We have been busy moving and then summer happened! I love my kids, but them being in school is my sanity! Having them home and whining and fighting and wanting to be entertained 24/7 is rough!<br />
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Anyways, come fall I will have all my kids in school ALL day! Oh my goodness, I can't wait. I promise to try harder to post more come fall! So, on with my post. I am going to add a video to our Youtube channel soon!DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-402343710697875013.post-17258965061289323452017-06-21T03:41:00.001-06:002017-06-21T03:41:38.992-06:00Probably TMI, but oh well- I haven't blogged in a long time, like a really, really, really long time!<br />
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My husband is working night right now but going back to days on Sunday (YAY). I experience what I call, the curse of the graves. From the time Emma was like 14 months old my husband worked graves for 4 years. He had a crazy schedule that was 2 days on, 2 days off. Anyways, the kids were only bad, throw up, get poop everywhere, have an accident, be sick, get hurt, refuse to sleep (you get my point) on nights that he worked! Needless to say, I've been struggling.<br />
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In the midst of him working nights, we've been in this 6+ month process of buying a house! CRAZY! I'm sure you won't want my LONG story, but we are waiting on a loan, the house we wanted listing expired, sellers decided to just rent it, so we are renting it while waiting on our loan... It has been a NIGHTMARE. I told Brad that if we won't get the house I won't be upset about the house (although I do love it) but upset that we have to move AND house hunt again! Fingers crossed it all goes through. We found out today that we should be getting the loan in 3 to 4 weeks. We thought we were 5 or more weeks out, so we'll see.<br />
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*I swear I've posted about this issue before, but I can not find any posts, so I'll just post the whole thing!<br />
Other news of today, the whole reason why I decided to blog at 3 am... 13 YEARS ago I sat in a doctor's office and told him how having sex with my husband hurt. His response, "But it isn't actually hurting (harming) your body, so you are fine." I told doctor #2, and #3 the same thing. I recall doctor #4 laughing as I physically freaked out over the anxiety I was having because I knew his exam was going to hurt! Yes, he laughed and said, "Your butt is levitating off the table!"<br />
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It wasn't until I was seeing James for the second time that the topic came up and he stressed how it wasn't normal and I should look into what was wrong. At the time, and many years following, we didn't have health insurance. So, I did some research online and concluded that I must have <a href="https://www.vaginismus.com/">Vaginismus</a>. I found ways to help with it and it has helped. Yet, I still had never talked to a doctor about this problem!<br />
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Recently Brad told me I really should talk to my doctor about this. Have I mentioned that I LOVE my OB-Gyn? I begged doc #4 for a hysterectomy and he refused. My first appointment with doctor #5 (my current one) he looks at my chart and my medical history and says Okay! Today I walk into his office, explain that having intercourse with my husband hurts and always has. The first thing out of his mouth, "Tell me about your sexual experiences. Were you sexually abused?" Me, "Yes, I was as a teenager." Doc, "You have what is called Vaginismus." My husband said I got the biggest smile and sigh of relief when he said that! 13 years, it took 13 years and 5 doctors to finally diagnose it! I also appreciated that he physically checked to see if there could be something else causing pain and pinpointed exactly where the pain was. He was so helpful. We even discussed if I needed additional counseling since the Vaginismus stems from the sexual abuse. Honestly, I'm 100% fine, with the exception of the Vaginismus. I told him, mentally I'm fine, I just need to figure out how to make my body understand it's okay. He talked about how I need to re-train my brain. Seriously, it was such a great doctors appointment.DMNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00122220947403381929noreply@blogger.com0