Fight

I've been going through a whirlwind of emotions today! My forcing myself to get up and ready easily lasted less than a week! I'm back to struggling to roll out of bed with just enough time to get Em to school on time. I debated skipping workout group, but forced myself to go. I was so close to skipping that I even got out non-workout clothes and put them on my bed to get dressed!

I went, but struggled. I left early too. I told myself that it is better that I went and left early then never went at all! The morning seemed to fly by and I had Brax's kindergarten meeting in the afternoon. That's when my emotions went flying. So many thing going on and news that I couldn't think straight. First, He is in AM when all his friends are in PM. Then I found out that he is getting a new teacher next week. I went to the office to see if I could switch  him to PM and keep him with his current teacher. They told me, no problem. Then they realized he has all day kindergarten! WHAT? I then went to meet his other teacher. The first thing she said to me was, "Oh we were just talking about Braxdon. He scored the lo...." That's when she realized that she probably shouldn't tell a parent that her child scored the lowest on the entrance test! My stomach dropped. I felt like such a failure as a parent! Meanwhile my kids were off playing at a friends house. 

Once I was finally done I went to my friends house. Her neighbor came over and her little boy is in all day too. We talked about how we feel like failures, but that we aren't and no one was going to judge us for that! My #1 fear with having both kids gone all day is my depression! I'm going to have to fight it like crazy. With no kids home all day all I'm going to want to do is play on my computer, watch Netflix and take a nap! I'm so glad that I can talk to my friend about anything! I expressed all my fears to her and how I need to find something to do with my time so I don't slip back into the dark depression! 

Tonight I came up with an action plan! I got this idea from another friend. Make a Minimum List. I am very list oriented, but can also get overwhelmed so easily! I have been thinking about doing this since I saw her post, but I'm finally doing it! I'm making my list at the end of each day- for the next day and put it on my front door so I'll see it as I'm taking the kids to school in the morning.