Saturday, April 24, 2010
Back then I wondered why. Why did you have to take the one person who really loved me? The one safe and secure thing in my life was ripped away. I was left alone, all alone in this world. I was left to people who would only add to my pain and suffering. I was left to a dad who abused me, knowing if mom were here she would stop it.
For years I wondered why. Why wasn’t I allowed one safe, secure and happy person in my life? Why did I deserve to be in so much pain?
After years I finally started to understand. I can’t even explain how or why. I finally started to heal and was able to see the bigger, eternal, picture. It was all the small, and the big, spiritual experiences with her that gave me the knowledge that there is life after death. It has given me a stronger testimony of the gospel and of the Atonement.
So, why did my mom have to die, leaving me with no one that was safe, secure & happy? Because I was blessed with many other in my life that were safe. People that I would not of needed or noticed. I lost one and gained many.
Why did I have to go through so much pain? Because I have learned so much. So many things that I could not of learned or experienced otherwise.
Thank you for knowing me, for knowing the end from the beginning. Thank you for blessing me with that trail and the trials that followed and shaped my life.
(What Love Really Means)