Sunday, November 13, 2016

Abuse

My 3rd spotlight on topics from LDS.org, Abuse (See link here)

Abuse is the treatment of others or self in a way that causes injury or offense. It harms the mind and the spirit and often injures the body as well. It can cause confusion, doubt, mistrust, and fear. It is a violation of the laws of society and is in total opposition to the teachings of the Savior. The Lord condemns abusive behavior in any form—physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional. Abusive behavior may lead to Church discipline.

Additional Information

Those who have been abusive in any relationship are urged to repent of their sin, to plead with the Lord for forgiveness, and to ask for forgiveness from those who have been harmed. Those who have been abusive should also speak with their bishop or branch president so he can help them through the repentance process and, if necessary, help them receive additional counseling or other assistance. Part of the repentance process may also include accepting whatever penalties are imposed by law.

Victims of abuse should seek help immediately, normally from their bishop or branch president. His first responsibility is to help those who have been abused and to protect those who may be vulnerable to future abuse.

Victims of abuse should be assured that they are not to blame for the harmful behavior of others. They do not need to feel guilt. If they have been a victim of rape or other sexual abuse, whether they have been abused by an acquaintance, a stranger, or even a family member, victims of sexual abuse are not guilty of sexual sin.

Victims of abuse can seek help from their priesthood leader to guide them through the process of emotional healing. Through the blessings of the gospel, victims of abuse can stop the cycle of abuse and be freed from the suffering they have experienced.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Learning to Lose

There is a lot of buzz going around lately about political stuff. Today as my husband and I talked about it there was one thing I felt most important to share- accepting loss!

I remember crying at my 8th Birthday party because I lost at musical chairs! It was down to just me and 1 other kid and I didn't win. I cried and cried about it, but it didn't change the fact that I lost. I soon got over it and moved on with my life. In fact, I haven't thought much of it until just now.

I'm not going to lie, I was down right MAD when Romney lost both times, but you know what I did? I accepted it and moved on with my life! It was not the end of the world. I wasn't happy with Obama winning both times, but that is life. You don't always win. You don't always get your way. There isn't much you can do about it, except realizing that and moving on with your life.

Several years ago I went to a Stake Relief Society meeting. One of the speakers was a local therapist. She talked about how there has been a rise in college drop outs. All these students grew up being told they were the "best". They were the best athlete, the best at math, the best at this and that. Then they go to college where they are with thousands of other "bests" and they aren't #1 anyone. They don't know how to handle that essential rejection. Going from always being the best to being average is devastating to them. They don't know how to accept loss.

There is a different in accepting a loss and fighting for what is right. In the case of the recent presidential election, I believe that the results are fair. That is how the system has worked for how many years now. Some years Democrats win and other years Republicans win. If whatever party lost always fought against it there would be pure chaos! On the other hand- My husband is a huge hockey fan and has got me hooked as well. Recently we were listening to a game being played by our favorite team. One of the rules of hockey is you can't interfere with the goalie to keep him from blocking the goal. As we listened to the game the opposing team scored. Immediately following the goal the announcers said that the goalie was furious and said there was goaltender interference.  The announcers discussed how these professional goalies accept it when a goal is shot against them, it's a part of the game, but when there is a wrong doing they fight against it. They reviewed the goal and did revoke it due to goaltender interference. You should see what these goalies do when they lose a game... they simply shake their heads, move on with their lives and try harder the next game. They don't scream. They don't fight it. They don't demand a recount. They accept the loss and strive to do better.

Learning to lose is a part of life. Your presidential candidate isn't always going to win. Your favorite sports team isn't always going to win. In fact, ours is kind of sucking right now! They actually won a game tonight, but  the kicker is that the winning goal was made by the opposing team! Poor guy flicked the puck behind him and it went into the net causing his team to lose! Anyways, accept loss. Accept that you won't ALWAYS win, you won't always be right. Life won't always be fair. When I was a kid I thought that when you grow up life magically being fair, it doesn't!

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Atonement


Coloring



My kids and I ended up staying at Hayley's an extra day, while my husband had to come home for work. The second either of my kids has money they instantly have to spend it! Emma lost a tooth and had $2 from the tooth fairy and my grandpa gave Brax $1 because he got an award at school for the most improved student. So we took the kids to the $1 store so they could spend their money. Hayley got herself an adult coloring book. I told her how I am hooked on those too! After feeding the kids lunch we sat down and colored (actually we painted in them). We got to my house late, put the kids to bed and resumed our painting. Then Hayley asked, "What is it that makes these a stress relief?".

I had never actually thought about it. I had to think for a minute. My theory was that it essentially clears your mind, gives you one thing to focus on and relieves any stressful thoughts you might have. Even if you feel like there are a million things going through your mind at once, there really isn't. Only one thought can go through your mind at a time. They are just going so fast it seems like there are millions of them! So when you sit down and give your mind the task to focus on coloring it doesn't get clouded with any other thoughts that might be negative or stressful! 

Even thought my theory seemed legit I decided to research it and see why it really does. 
I came across this article (here) and loved it!

To sum it up:
"Researchers have acknowledged the therapeutic qualities of art for years, and today, art therapy is used to help people express themselves when what they’re feeling is too difficult to put into words.

"One 2006 study, for example, found that mindfulness art therapy for women with cancer helped to
significantly decrease symptoms of physical and emotional distress during treatment.

"Art therapy is also helpful among people dealing with a variety of other conditions, such as depression, dementia, anxiety, and PTSD.

“A lot of my fellow graduate classmates bring these coloring books into the classroom setting as a tool to focus more on lectures” -I have found that coloring during church helps me focus and pay better attention!

"And considering the inability to focus is often a symptom of anxiety or stress, it only makes sense that adult coloring books would also help with those as well. Dr. Stan Rodski, a neuropsychologist who also happens to be the author of his own line of adult coloring books, says that coloring elicits a relaxing mindset, similar to what you would achieve through meditation. Like mediation, coloring allows us to switch off our brains from other thoughts and focus on the moment. Tasks with predictable results, such as coloring or knitting, can often be calming"

"Dr. Joel Pearson, a brain scientist at the University of New South Wales in Australia presented a different explanation for the therapeutic effect: Concentrating on coloring an image may facilitate the replacement of negative thoughts and images with pleasant ones."

“You have to look at the shape and size, you have to look at the edges, and you have to pick a color,” Pearson told Nine MSN. “It should occupy the same parts of the brain that stops any anxiety-related mental imagery happening as well. ... Anything that helps you control your attention is going to help.”

*** I am going to be doing another giveaway soon! It may or may not include several coloring books and colored pencils! Stay tuned!!!