Monday, October 23, 2000

My Story:

Back ground info-
I was born and raised in the LDS church. My parents were married in the Temple. When I was 1 month old they divorced, my "dad" terminated his parental right and we have no relationship. I grew up with my mom and sister, living with my mom's parents. When I was 7 my mom passed away. A month later my my sister and I were adopt by "Mom B" and "Dad A". -that's the really short version-

It all started one Sunday afternoon (April 2003). Just like many times before Dad A was drunk and angry, he told me to get out of his house. He had said this to me before, but I had never left. That day I did, I drove around not knowing what to do or who to turn to. I decided to talk to my seminary teacher "Sister Parker". Although I didn't tell her much it was the first time someone knew what went on in my home. She told me that I needed to tell my Bishop, which I did later that same day.

A few months later after another screaming battle with dad I was alone, scared and didn't know what to do with all the pain I felt. I was desperate for help and had no idea how to ask or what to do. To deal with the emotional pain I ended up cutting myself. I told my best friend about what happened and she told that I again needed to tell our bishop. I finally told him and he advised me to go to counseling. I wish you had known me back then, I was shy and quiet and hated to talk! I reluctantly agreed to go to LDS Family Services. At the time I was 18 so my parents didn't know.

I started seeing Joy, I stopped cutting, I moved out, met the man of my dreams and started SOLE (Survivor of Life's Experiences). I can't say it enough, SOLE changed my life. It is now hard to make me shut up and I love sharing my story and experiences.

SOLE ended on a Tuesday and on Friday I got married in the temple. Not long after getting married some memories started to surface that included sexual and physical abuse by someone not related to me. I will refer to him as "Jack". My husband and I moved to a different state and I once again started counseling to deal with the sexual abuse. I was used to seeing Joy and had just finished SOLE, my counselor, "Aaron", was horrible. He was old, about to retire and probably did more harm then help. After 3 months of going nowhere I stopped seeing him.

3 years later I decided to once again try counseling at LDS Family Services I started seeing "James", another male counselor there. He was amazing! I started going to another group, Healing From Sexual Abuse.

I have also dealt with depression since I was a teenager. I struggled with infertility for 6 years before adoption my first (of 2) children.

I have gone back to counseling yet again to deal with the depression. I've had another great experience with my counselor "Grace"

I love looking back over my life and all the many obstacles I have overcome.


Lynn C. Tolson said...

You are courageous to tell your story. It sounds as though you had many obstacles to overcome, including the very system that is supposed to help. I look forward to seeing the SOLE steps, which you have generously shared. Lynn

Jessica said...

I'm so happy to find you blog.. I'm 15 and I understand some of the things.. :/
Prayers for you!