Monday, October 23, 2000

My Story:

Back ground info-
I was born and raised in the LDS church. My parents were married in the Temple. When I was 1 month old they divorced, my "dad" terminated his parental right and we have no relationship. I grew up with my mom and sister, living with my mom's parents. When I was 7 my mom passed away. A month later my my sister and I were adopt by "Mom B" and "Dad A". -that's the really short version-

It all started one Sunday afternoon (April 2003). Just like many times before Dad A was drunk and angry, he told me to get out of his house. He had said this to me before, but I had never left. That day I did, I drove around not knowing what to do or who to turn to. I decided to talk to my seminary teacher "Sister Parker". Although I didn't tell her much it was the first time someone knew what went on in my home. She told me that I needed to tell my Bishop, which I did later that same day.

A few months later after another screaming battle with dad I was alone, scared and didn't know what to do with all the pain I felt. I was desperate for help and had no idea how to ask or what to do. To deal with the emotional pain I ended up cutting myself. I told my best friend about what happened and she told that I again needed to tell our bishop. I finally told him and he advised me to go to counseling. I wish you had known me back then, I was shy and quiet and hated to talk! I reluctantly agreed to go to LDS Family Services. At the time I was 18 so my parents didn't know.

I started seeing Joy, I stopped cutting, I moved out, met the man of my dreams and started SOLE (Survivor of Life's Experiences). I can't say it enough, SOLE changed my life. It is now hard to make me shut up and I love sharing my story and experiences.

SOLE ended on a Tuesday and on Friday I got married in the temple. Not long after getting married some memories started to surface that included sexual and physical abuse by someone not related to me. I will refer to him as "Jack". My husband and I moved to a different state and I once again started counseling to deal with the sexual abuse. I was used to seeing Joy and had just finished SOLE, my counselor, "Aaron", was horrible. He was old, about to retire and probably did more harm then help. After 3 months of going nowhere I stopped seeing him.

3 years later I decided to once again try counseling at LDS Family Services I started seeing "James", another male counselor there. He was amazing! I started going to another group, Healing From Sexual Abuse.

I have also dealt with depression since I was a teenager. I struggled with infertility for 6 years before adoption my first (of 2) children.

I have gone back to counseling yet again to deal with the depression. I've had another great experience with my counselor "Grace"

I love looking back over my life and all the many obstacles I have overcome.

2 comments:

Lynn C. Tolson said...

You are courageous to tell your story. It sounds as though you had many obstacles to overcome, including the very system that is supposed to help. I look forward to seeing the SOLE steps, which you have generously shared. Lynn

Jessica said...

I'm so happy to find you blog.. I'm 15 and I understand some of the things.. :/
Prayers for you!