The origins of self-harm often lie in a deep feeling of being powerless, trapped, or without choice. This may come from unhappy experiences in the past or a traumatic event such as being attacked. Current events can reinforce old feelings of distress, particularly when life is very stressful, or a person feels isolated, lacking support or understanding, or is under constant criticism.
Resorting to self-injury is a way of both indicating that difficulties exist and is also an attempt to cope with the problems. Although harming oneself is not a constructive way of dealing with these difficulties, it may serve some of the following functions: (I bolded the reason why I personally cut)
- to tell people something is wrong
- to legitimise feelings of pain
- to gain a sense of control
- to distract and bring a sense of relief
- to manage unacceptable feelings such as anger
- to punish oneself
- to protest
- to express shame and self hatred
- to overcome numbness and restore a capacity to feel
- to cleanse
Coping with Self Harm
Self Harm/Self Injury/Self Mulitation is the act of intentional harm to your own body caused by a manifestation of negative feelings or a form of self punishment. Most commonly used in times of distress, anger or as a result of low self-esteem. Self harm is usually used as a coping mechanism.
Anyone of any gender, age, ethnicity or background self-harm.
Want to stop?
- Try to gain a better understanding of why and when you self harm. Ask your self Why? What was your mood like before the urge came? Keep a daily diary of your moods - this can show a pattern in behaviour.
- Once you identify triggers a plan can be put into place. For example if feeling angry makes you self harm you will notice this within yourself and can then try to learn new behaviour. Write a letter to the person who upset you and throw it away, scream into or punch a pillow.
- Self harm is a negative coping skill. It's your way of dealing with strong emotions. Find new outlets for your feelings, and learn to talk to people about how you really are.
- Improve low self-esteem. Don't beat yourself up for self harming, its your way of coping with things AND you can change this. If you haven't self harmed when you have wanted to congratulate yourself! Perhaps give yourself a treat.
- Some people self-harm as a way of punisihng themselves. Turn this completly on its head! Next time you feel the need to harm yourself do something positive, run a bubble bath, go to the shops to buy something nice, do something productive.
- Forgive yourself. You're not a freak you're a human being who has gone through a lot!
Distraction Techniques
- Dance around the room listening to music
- Exercise, even a jog round the block or a simple walk can make all the difference
- Call someone
- Engross yourself in a task, cleaning the house top to bottom!
- Treat and reward yourself, anything from a bag of sweets, a top from M&S or something from Primark!
- Paint your nails
- Experiment in the kitchen, bake a cake, mix a new fruit drink (orange and cranberry is rather nice!), try out a new desert.
- Watch a favourite movie
- Take a bath with bubbles
- Knitting
- Write something, about how you're feeling, a letter to someone or a poem
- Paint
- On line games and puzzles, try http://www.bored.com/
Write a positive message to yourself in pen on the area you want to harm. 'This to shall pass!' or 'Just keep going!'
Last Resort Methods
- Holding ice
- Draw on yourself
- Tearing up paper
- Cutting fabric, like an old towel
- Punch a pillow
- Scream into a pillow
- Elastic band on the wrist to ping
Three Point Plan
- Start a diary - keep a record of your mood everyday
- Distract yourself
- Be kind to yourself! Would you treat someone else the way you've been treating youself?
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