6 years ago today...

I'm tearing up thinking about it. It was 6 years ago TODAY that I moved out! I can't believe it. That's means that tomorrow is 6 years ago that I met my husband! I don't think I've blog about my moving out day yet, so here you go-

On Tuesday Dec. 2- I talked to Sister Parker and she made me realized that I needed to move out NOW. My friend and I were planning on getting an apartment together in about 6 weeks. But I was at the end of my rope, things were very bad at home and for me emotionally.

Wednesday- I decided to do it. I went and talked to my aunt and asked if I could live with them for a few weeks. They of course said yes. That was also the day I talked to Grandma about everything going on. Told her about cutting and going to counseling and that I was moving out. (they didn't even know I was moving in 6 weeks!)

Thursday- Grandma told Grandpa- he was furious to say the least (about the cutting).

Saturday- Grandpa wasn't home and I was hurrying to get the heck out of there while he was gone. Minutes before I left he got home. He started screaming at me, I was destroying our family and so on. I turned and walked away from him while he was yelling. My hands were shaking when I reached for the doorknob, it seemed like I stood there for an eternity before I opened the door and left. I cried the whole way to my aunt and uncle's house because I was FINALLY gone, the abuse (for the most part) was OVER!

These 2 songs always make me think about my huge step in moving out!

#1- Little Wonders, by Rob Thomas (This song always makes me picture myself standing at the door reaching for the doorknob)

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don't mind
if it's me you need to turn to
we?ll get by,
it's the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain


#2- I'm Moving On, by Rascal Flatts- (this song is word for word what I was going through and how I felt. all except 3 of the lines, I bold ed the song and un-bold ed the ones that don't apply.)

I've dealt with my ghosts
And I've faced all my demons
Finally content with the past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once, I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame
Trapped in the past for too long
I'm moving on

I've lived in this place
And I know all the faces
Each one is different
But they're always the same
They mean me no harm
But it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm moving on

I'm moving on
At last I can see
(Last I can see)
Life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees
But I'm not alone
There comes a time in every one's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
(The years passing by)
And I have made up my mind
That those days are goneI sold what I could
And packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should
But lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm moving on
I'm moving on
I'm moving on