I've been reading a book on open adoptions, trying to figure it all out before my daughter gets older and I mess up somehow. Ha ha, I know I'm sure I'll make my mistakes, I just don't want to completely screw her up! I just wanted to share something it says about walls and boundaries.
The Open Adoption Experience, page 21:
"Walls, like the old Berlin Wall, are impenetrable. Boundaries, like border crossings, allow for decisions to be mare about when they can be crossed. Walls are put up by fearful people, willing to sacrifice some possible good to be sure that all the bad will be kept out. Boundaries are put up by people who are confident of their ability to differentiate the positive from the negative and willing to take the chance of occasionally something adverse might cross the boundary in order to assure that the boundary will be accessible to all the positive things that might be available."
I LOVE this. How true is that? I will remind myself of this as I try to keep and work on relationships. You have to be willing to accept some bad for possibly a lot of good instead of just keeping the world out!