The Doctor

Today I accompanied my friend to her doctors appointment. Although I was happy to be helping my friend I felt weird because the doctor "Midwife", she was going to was one of my former doctors. I seem to be making my way through ever single doctor in this town! "Midwife" was my first doctor here. I started seeing her just after I quit seeing Tim. Not one of my medical doctors know about any of the abuse. I remembered "Midwife" as being a great doctor, but she could no longer do anything for my fertility issues, so I switched to someone else.

It has been years since I've seen her. She remembered having me as a patient, but didn't remember anything and we focused on my friend and why she was there. My friend told "Midwife" very vague details, just that she was sexually abused and her age when it happened. "Midwife" was beyond amazing! She said that she too had been abused, nothing as sever as my friend, but she understands. "Midwife" explained to my friend what she was going to do when she examined her, how it was going to be okay. She was going to keep my friend focused on her, that it was safe, she wasn't the abuser and it was okay. I was amazed to say the least!

When I got home I told my husband that from now on I will be going to "Midwife" for my yearly exam and if it's fertility related I will go to my current doctor. I'm tired of men just shoving fingers and tools up there and not understanding how scary it is for me. I am ALWAYS tense, telling me to relax doesn't work. Just a few months ago my fertility doctor said "your butt is levitating off the table!" Yeah, cuz I do not want you to go in there! I have a feeling that if "Midwife" is doing the exams and knows about the abuse I will be more comfortable with her, she will remind me it is safe, it's okay, she isn't my abuser. (she has examined me before, but didn't know about the abuse) She also had some great advise to my friend. I'm so happy that I went with my friend to talk to "Midwife" today!