Starting way back when I was about 8, Hayley moved into our ward. We were the same age; we went to each other’s birthday parties and such. Around when we turned 16 (at least how I remember) we because BEST friends. We did everything together. I believe it was when I was asking a guy to the Sadie’s dance that Hayley invented “Happy Nothing Day.” From then on we occasionally and sometimes frequently used “Happy Nothing Day.” Our way to express to each other how we cared about them for no apparent reason! For a time we had an envelope that we would send back and forth with something in it, for Happy Nothing Day. We lived 2 states away from each other at the time so we mailed things back and forth. I don’t remember what I sent her, but Hayley sent me a framed quote on friendship and a little book on friendship. My favorite one… A little bit of background on Hayley and I. We liked to do fun, crazy, spontaneous, and funny things. On occasion we would “heart attack” someone, like our Bishop or the Young Woman’s President and such. So my favorite Happy Nothing Day package was, Hayley mailed me a “Heart Attack”. On the hearts she wrote some of our favorite memories and things we had done together.
I thought a lot about our Happy Nothing Day’s as I prepared one for Hayley She is currently serving a mission and I found a quote that made me think of her. I put it in the mail the other day.
(I got this -here-)
Then today our Relief Society lesson also made me think of her.
Let me back track once again…. Hayley and I have a special bond. There are no words for what our friendship was like from the time we were 16 to 20, amazing, a blessing, unforgettable, and many more there are no words for. We were both victims of abuse. We share our deepest thoughts and feelings with each other. We shared stories we told no one else. When one person struggled, the other lifted them. It seemed to go back and forth a lot. I struggled and Hayley was there for me. She struggled and I was there for her. We made mistakes, learned and grew and did so much together. I remember a time when Hayley struggled with the gospel and now here she is on a mission.
So today the relief society lesson was on chastity. The (amazing) teacher share that she was a victim of sexual abuse and how when you are a victim it messes up your views on chastity. I feel very fortunate that I never had these thoughts or views. Probably because what Jack did was… I’m not sure how to word it so I’ll put it bluntly, he never raped me, although he threatened to.
At first I thought of Hayley. My, how she has changed! She has gone through counseling, sought forgiveness and has made amazing progress through the healing process. It’s amazing to see the transformation and the happiness in her life. My other friend, MacKenzie, has done some counseling, but is not as far into the healing process as Hayley. Now, I haven’t talked to MacKenzie in about a year so I might be wrong. It’s interesting to look at two. The one who has really worked at, and although she struggled she remained active in the LDS church and is one of the most amazing people I know. The other, last I heard, was inactive. The last time I was around her, she was unhappy, miserable and angry at family for what they did to her. I’m not trying to bash on her, or say anything negative about her. We all take the healing process differently.
My point is, I’m a strong believer, mostly through my experiences in SOLE, that turning to Christ and immersing yourself in the gospel and the atonement is the path to happiness and healing.
It’s also true in, the more you serve a person, the more you love them! It’s not only true for in a marriage, but I’ve experienced it with Hayley and also with my daughter’s birth mom. Then seeing the other person happy and feeling loved, it makes you happier.
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