Sunday, March 9, 2014

Things NOT to say to someone dealing with depression:

Not to Say:
“Snap out of it”
If it were that easy, trust me we would! We don’t want to be depressed, we just are!

“Change your frame of mind”
Again, if it were that easy, we’d just do it!

“You must not be spiritual enough!”
The last time I was so depressed that I was suicidal, I was also the most spiritual I’ve ever been. Depression is an illness, would you tell someone with cancer that if they were more spiritual it would go away?

“Pray it away”
Back to the whole spiritual thing... It just doesn’t work like that.

“There’s always someone worse off than you are.”
“No one ever said life is fair”
When you are in that dark fog, you can’t see beyond the dark fog. You aren’t thinking about other people being worse off then you. You can only think about your own pain and trial.

What to do:
Don’t minimize their feelings
After we adopted my daughter people assumed I would be 100% okay with all things baby, pregnancy and kids. After all now I was a mom so I should be over the struggle of infertility. As much as I wanted to be, it just isn’t so. Even though I now have 2 adopted kids, finding out someone else is pregnant AGAIN still strings. Why, because it’s a reminded that I NEVER will be! P.S. never tell me, “Be grateful for what you do have!” that is just a slap in the face.

Encourage counseling, therapy and support groups.

Don’t judge them or minimize the need for medications. Sometimes you just NEED them. Would you rather have a loved one take a medication that helps them or potentially commit suicide?

Let them know you are there for them.

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