It's one of those scriptures that always makes me cringe. Mainly because it was one Grandpa quoted to me so often in the midst of the abuse, "Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land..." except he always said Earth. Exodus 20:12
If we weren't perfect (for his standards) he would always yell this at us. We were to honor him no matter what! The scriptures said so! Deep down I knew that there was no way Heavenly Father expected us to honor him while he was being so extremely abusive! Grandpa would constantly tell me that if I didn't honor (obey) him then I would be going to hell.
As we read this scripture in Sunday School and started talking about the subject I was feeling uneasy! Then a sister in my ward made the comment, "Parents have to be worthy to earn that respect." How extremely well said!
My Grandparents lead me to believe that to "honour" them I was to do everything they said. At 16 as I sat there at the luau in Hawaii my Grandma tried to get me to drink alcohol. I couldn't help but think, Am I really supposed to honor her and drink it because she wants me to? No way, there is no way that this is what the Lord meant by "Honour thy father and thy mother".
At times I have felt guilty for not honor or obeying them as well as I could have. Then again, if I had where would my life be today?
Elder Dallin H. Oaks worded it perfectly in his talk, “Honour Thy Father and Thy Mother”.
"To young people, honoring parents is appropriately understood to focus on obedience, respect, and emulation of righteous parents. The Apostle Paul illuminated that focus when he taught, “Children, obey your parents in all things [I believe he meant all righteous things]: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.” (Col. 3:20.)" -Elder Dallin H. Oaks