Leave it to Carol to makes me start crying at church! The older I get the more I have learned, understood, appreciated and loved the Atonement. I feel like growing up I only got or grasped that He suffered for our sins. It was through SOLE that I came to understand how He took on our pains and affections as well. As Carol was talking about this she mentioned that He also felt our illnesses. I'm not sure why this made me cry, but it did.
Even though I know He has felt my pain and trials the depression seems different. I can't explain it. Even though it is a trial, meaning He would have experienced it, it seems much more complex. Just last night I was tried to explain to Brad how the anxiety was making me feel and ended up saying, "You've never experienced depression or anxiety so you won't understand!" As Carol said that about the illnesses it hit me that He does know what it is like to have depression and anxiety. He does know what it is like to go through that.
So often I feel alone in the depression. When Brad and I struggled with infertility it wasn't just me, even though the problem was just me. We both experienced the pain and heartache of not being able to have children. The depression is something I've had to carry alone. I can talk to him about it, but he doesn't know or understand exactly what it feels like. Know that there is someone who does know, who does understand exactly how I am thinking and feelings brings comfort and peace. I'm not completely alone in this.
Mosiah 18:8 and 9: "And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
"Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life."
This talk by Richard G. Scott, To Be Healed, goes perfectly with this.
My favorite part:
*"Mine is a message of hope for you who yearn for relief from heavy burdens that have come through no conscious act of your own while you have lived a worthy life. It is based on principles embodied in the teachings of the Savior. Your challenge may be a serious physical disability, a struggle with lingering illness, or a daily wrestle with a life-threatening disease. It may have roots in the death of a loved one, the anguish caused by another bound by sin, or come from abuse in any of its evil forms. Whatever the cause, I testify that lasting relief is available on conditions established by the Lord."
*"It is important to understand that His healing can mean being cured, or having your burdens eased, or even coming to realize that it is worth it to endure to the end patiently..."
*"Recognize that some challenges in life will not be resolved here on earth. Paul pled thrice that “a thorn in the flesh” be removed. The Lord simply answered, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
*"He wants you to learn how to be cured when that is His will and how to obtain strength to live with your challenge when He intends it to be an instrument for growth. In either case the Redeemer will support you."
*"Don’t say, “No one understands me; I can’t sort it out, or get the help I need.” Those comments are self-defeating. No one can help you without faith and effort on your part. 9 Your personal growth requires that. Don’t look for a life virtually free from discomfort, pain, pressure, challenge, or grief, for those are the tools a loving Father uses to stimulate our personal growth and understanding."
*"You may not fully understand how to do this yet, but trust that He will help you use your agency to open the doors for His healing to occur. Faith in Christ means we trust Him; we trust His teachings. That leads to hope, and hope brings charity, the pure love of Christ—that peaceful feeling that comes when we sense His concern, His love, and His capacity to cure us or to ease our burdens with His healing power."